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Fan Story: The Stath’s Tale

I wrote this little story awhile back and I thought I would share it with you all. It’s basically a summary of our Brit’s career:

“Once there was an Expendable Mechanic Transporter. He would later Crank up Chaos that would later start a War with other actioners. Though he was a lad who was once a diver and a model from London, no one knew that he would later become The One of many action icons. After making a first appearance in movies in the year 1998, he would take those Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and other talents to other lands, especially influence and inspire many fans to come. He started out as a Mean Machine, but some would pass him through as if he was one of those Ghosts of Mars. Finally he would Snatch an iconic role that he would transport not once, not twice…but three times. Next he Turn It Up a notch by becoming a Cellular villian as well as going Collateral but ended up a cameo in Pink Panther. Along the way, he would switch from a Revolver to a sword and be in a fantasy flick that everyone thought was terrible, but he was the only saving grace of A Dungeon Siege Tale. Later he would go from being a farmer to a man called Parker. Then was a part of two Bank Jobs, one of them being an Italian Job. Next his tricks he did on Death Race would take him to become one of the Fast and Furious. Over the next decade and doing over 13 to 20, he would try to play it Safe and go for other roles such as a gnome in Gnomeo and Juliet. Eventually his skills were needed once more as he took on a role from a book of a true story renamed Killer Elite. Yes, yes he went from going High Voltage to Blitz. However, here and there, he would seek Redemption from previous works as well as protecting those close on the Homefront. By his techniques and all talents, he gained a spot on a Wild Card as well as becoming a cocky Spy in the near future. Because of his work, he became one of those action legends we grew to love and without him, the action genre would cease to exist.”

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